


Worth It

by boos_pledis



Series: EXO Party-verse [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Byun Baekhyun, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Exes, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, Junmyeon is a simp for Baekhyun, Love, M/M, Mafia universe, Slight Smut, Soft Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Stubborn Byun Baekhyun, Top Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, for like five seconds though, mentions of chanyeol, mentions of past relationships - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26726290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boos_pledis/pseuds/boos_pledis
Summary: Jongin was right, they did have sex, but it didn't work like it usually did.or, Baekhyun and Junmyeon fight and this time, they actually talk it out...eventually.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Junmyeon | Suho
Series: EXO Party-verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945147
Comments: 10
Kudos: 33





	Worth It

Baekhyun sits with his arms crossed, glaring out the window of the moving car. 

"Baekhyun-ah," Junmyeon whines, drawls, "please talk to me." 

Baekhyun only flashes his glare at him before remaining silent.

He feels a hand situate itself on his upper thigh, but in lieu of letting it stay there or taking the hand in his own, he pushes it off. 

"Baby," Junmyeon groans. Baekhyun catches movement from the corner of his eye and glances over at Junmyeon, who has now shifted, his right hand gripping the middle of the steering wheel and his left arm supporting his head. He looks...really sad. It makes Baekhyun feel even worse. 

Baekhyun feels his heart gush painfully and moves his eyes to his lap. "Why did you talk to him?" he asks quietly, "Why did you talk to him when I was there?" 

"Because I'm allowed to talk with other people?" Junmyeon asks incredulously, "We may have dated, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends now." 

"He can't be 'just a friend', it's never like that, Junmyeon!" Baekhyun yells. Baekhyun feels the hate fire from earlier boil within him, bubbling over the top and splashing, _scalding_ his organs. "He's your ex! Next thing you know, you're fucking each other behind my back or some shit!" 

"Don't raise your voice at me, Baekhyun." Junmyeon's words are quiet and Baekhyun can tell he's being patient, but, for some unknown reason, it only makes him angrier. 

"Well, you wanted me to fucking talk to you!" Baekhyun scoffs and glares harshly at his boyfriend. 

Junmyeon doesn't look at him, focuses his eyes on the road. "I said _talk_ , not _yell_. I want to talk this out with you like a proper adult, Baekhyun." 

Baekhyun exhales sharply through his nose. "Are you calling me a child?!"

"I'm not calling you anything, but you're not exactly talking to me like an adult right now." 

Baekhyun has to stop himself from exploding. "Don't fucking talk to me," Baekhyun turns back to look out the window and the car ride is silent the rest of the way. 

///

Junmyeon leaves him alone and Baekhyun would be thankful for it if he wasn't craving his hugs or kisses or sweet "I love you"'s at the moment. Junmyeon is so careful about giving Baekhyun his space that he does _their_ night routine in the guest bathroom. Baekhyun hates this, he's mad at himself for getting so jealous and letting it blind him for so long. It's been a little while since the party, yet here he is, acting like a coward by avoiding Junmyeon and not apologizing for his actions like he knows he should. 

Once he's done in the bathroom, he sits on their king sized bed in his soft silk pajamas. He still remembers when Junmyeon gifted them to him, a baby blue two piece that was the slightest bit oversized, enough to soak in Junmyeon's body heat and keep Baekhyun extra warm for the cold Seoul nights. 

He fiddles with his hands and decides he'll apologize when Junmyeon comes back. Baekhyun feels tears welling in his eyes because Baekhyun hates being wrong, but mostly because he hates making Junmyeon upset. 

When Junmyeon's upset, really _really_ upset, he'll get into this weird place. He ignores everyone, won't talk unless absolutely necessary, won't look at anyone, will look _through_ anyone if he can't help looking at them, almost like he's numb - no, _dead_ to the world, like he's retracted himself into an inner shell, leaving his happy go-lucky, dad joke-loving, cake-ruining self hollow. Junmyeon has only ever been like that with Baekhyun once before and it was the worst couple of days Baekhyun has ever experienced. He's afraid he might've pushed Junmyeon too far, far enough to force him back into that place. 

Baekhyun bites his lip to hold in the cries he so desperately wants to let out. He doesn't want Junmyeon to do that...maybe-maybe it won't be like that if Baekhyun wasn't there. Junmyeon has only ever mentioned slipping into that place with his parents, never with Chanyeol or any of his other exes. As far as Baekhyun knows, he's the only one who's managed to push him into that head space. 

_You know what to do, Baekhyun_. He tells himself and the thought of what he's about to do is so painful that he can't help the tear that slips down his face. 

Junmyeon walks into the room with a loud sigh, "Look, Baekhyun, I-" he pauses, Baekhyun doesn't look at him, "Are you crying?" 

Baekhyun sobs out a pained noise and that's enough to have Junmyeon rushing over to him and cupping his cheeks. "I-I," Baekhyun can't get the words out.

"It's okay, Baek, it's okay, my love," Junmyeon pets Baekhyun's hair back, kisses the tear trackes gently and he's so _loving_ , Baekhyun can't _stand_ it. 

Baekhyun curls into Junmyeon's chest, crawls into his lap when prompted to and holds on. And Junmyeon's there for him, loving him, caring for him, better than Baekhyun has ever been loved or cared for in his lifetime. 

Then Junmyeon kisses Baekhyun, a sweet, slow, passionate kiss. Baekhyun has no other choice but to kiss him back. 

It escalates, Baekhyun pressing for more, leaning closer, clutching tighter, desperate, _desperate_ for Junmyeon's adoration and affection and attention. Junmyeon reciprocates, gives him everything he wants, allows Baekhyun to strip them both, to push them down so Baekhyun's straddling him and Junmyeon's looking up at him from below. 

Baekhyun is quick to unbuckle Junmyeon's belt, grinding down and moaning as he pulls it loose. He's in a hurry to get on Junmyeon's dick. 

Junmyeon pulls him down for a kiss, runs a soothing hand through his hand as if to tell him _slow down, it's okay, we have all the time in the world_. 

But Baekhyun doesn't listen, instead he goes faster, tugging Junmyeon out of his pants and jerking him to full hardness. Baekhyun himself is already there, leaking erection staining his tummy with pre-cum. 

Baekhyun sits up and looks over his shoulder so he can accurately align his hole with Junmyeon's thick cock. It'll sting, Baekhyun anticipates it, but it won't be extremely painful, especially since they had fucked before the party. 

He impales himself with the hard cock, eyes rolling back while moaning and pushing all the way down to make sure Junmyeon bottoms out. Biting his lip, Baekhyun stares deep into Junmyeon's brown swirls of adoration. It's intense, _too_ intense for Baekhyun to take at the moment, so he closes his eyes and tilts his head upwards, mouth dropped open to let out all his loud moans. 

Unfortunately, Junmyeon doesn't let him do it for long. "Look at me, my love," Baekhyun listens because he can't resist Junmyeon, moves his eyes so they meet Junmyeon's. 

It's so intimate. Junmyeon's eyes portray all of his emotions for Baekhyun, he's showing Baekhyun his vulnerability, how much he doesn't mind being open with Baekhyun. Baekhyun doesn't feel worth it, despises himself for making this beautiful man beneath him sad, feels undeserving of the look. So much so that Baekhyun stops riding him and bursts into tears. 

Junmyeon only shushes him, consoles him, and holds him close. "What's wrong, angel? What's wrong? You can tell me, you can always tell me, I'll always be here for you." 

Baekhyun sobs into his chest, but manages to choke out a watery, "I'm so sorry..."

"I forgive you, Baekhyun, but I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on," Junmyeon pets the back of his hair and eventually fixes their position, pulling his softened cock out of Baekhyun's fluttering, reluctant hole. He sits up, still holding Baekhyun, and lays them down so their head's are supported by pillows and their bodies, underneath the comfort of the duvet. 

Junmyeon stays quiet, lets Baekhyun cry into his night shirt until he eventually passes out from exhaustion. 

///

Baekhyun wakes up alone, his face puffy with red, swollen, heavy eyes that droop lower than usual. 

Junmyeon isn't beside him, it's something he instantly noticed upon opening his eyes. He looks over and places a hand over the spot that has gone cold, lacking any body heat Junmyeon left behind. How long has he been awake?

Baekhyun slips out of the bed, tugs on his pants that he had haphazardly discarded the night before, and walks out of their shared bedroom, finding Junmyeon on the couch watching the news.

"How long have you been up?" Baekhyun asks, voice raspy and even cutting out in some places. He leans against the entry way, unsure if he should approach his boyfriend or not. 

The newscaster finishes his topic about climate change and it's only then that Junmyeon turns off the TV and answers Baekhyun. It's a rather lame one, "a couple hours," with a weak shrug.

"What counts as a couple hours?" 

"It's..." Junmyeon glances at the clock on the wall, "ten o'clock right now, so...six? Possibly seven?" 

"Why didn't you sleep in?" 

Another shrug, "wanted to think." 

Those words strike a nerve in Baekhyun, but it doesn't make him angry, it makes him worried. "About what?" he quetions shyly. 

"Last night. The party, the car ride, what happened in bed."

Baekhyun feels the tears return with a new vengeance, his bottom lip wobbling, and he speaks without a second thought. "Please don't break up with me," it comes out softly, a broken, fearful plea. 

"What? Baekhyun, why would you even-I'm-I'm not breaking up with you, Baekhyun," Junmyeon stands up from where he's sitting on the couch, voice and face full of disbelief, "do you...do you want me to break up with you?" 

"No," Baekhyun shakes his head and closes his eyes to stop the tears. He doesn't even notice when Junmyeon crosses the room just so he can put his arms around him. 

"Baekhyun, we need to talk." 

Baekhyun doesn't reply, but he lets Junmyeon guide him to the couch and cuddle into his side, the reassurance helping him a little bit. 

"Look, I-I honestly don't know why you keep getting jealous of Chanyeol or why you're so...against me keeping in contact with him, but if it...if it really upsets you this much, I guess I could-" 

"Stop..." Baekhyun whispers, "you...you're always sacrificing for me. I'm nothing but a burden to you." 

"Why would ever think that, Baekhyunnie?" 

"Crippling anxiety, constant insecurity-" 

Junmyeon stops him before he can make a list, "I didn't know that's how you viewed yourself. And frankly, I couldn't help but notice how we've been together for a year and yet...I feel like I barely know you. Or, don't know you as much as I should around this time in our relationship."

"Really?" he can't believe Junmyeon has been feeling this way. 

"Yeah, and I think...I think it's because we don't talk out our problems and we don't communicate as much as we should. We always touch the surface, but once it gets too hard, too different, we shy away and try to forget about it.

Junmyeon's right...he's always right. Baekhyun hates and loves that about him. "So what? I have to talk more about...?"

"That...I don't know. I guess just, just why you reacted the way you did and maybe how we can solve the problem, see if maybe the situation can end up better if it ever happens again." 

"Why...you wanna know why?" Baekhyun squints his eyes down at where his knees touch Junmyeon's thighs, feeling the little sprigs of electricity from the contact. He grabs Junmyeon's hand and plays with the fingers, spreads them, tugs on them, moves them side to side, massages them, anything he can do mindlessly while he thinks of why, "you and Chanyeol...both of you fit so well together, me and you...we don't. You had this amazing relationship with him, I just, feel like I can't meet the standard, like I'm not good enough for you, like I will never get up to Chanyeol's level." More tears, more incessant, _annoying_ tears. 

It's quiet for a bit as Baekhyun's response sinks in, then Junmyeon's answering, "Baby, I don't want you to get onto Chanyeol's level. I don't want you to fit the same way he did. There is no standard and you've always been good enough for me," Junmyeon snorts, "I don't know why you glorify our previous relationship, Chanyeol stopped loving me and cheated on me half through it. One out of those two years, he lied to me and hurt me. Chanyeol's level is where you stop loving me, I don't ever want you to be on that level, that level sucks."

"Oh..." Baekhyun seriously did not know what he was thinking or where he had even gotten the idea from when he was so _wrong_ the whole time. 

"Yeah. And do you know how you make me feel, Baekhyun-ah?" Junmyeon presses two fingers underneath his chin and tilts his head up so they're making eye contact. He's smiling, softly and in adoration, "You make me feel whole, _complete_ , you make me feel like I can be myself. More than that, you make me feel like I can live every day better than the last. I'm so deeply in love with you, Baekhyun, it almost drives me crazy." 

Baekhyun's heart swells, gushes with the amount of love he feels for Junmyeon. "You make me feel that way too," he responds with a watery, choked up tone, but then he thinks of something else, "but-but what about when I-I pushed you into that weird place you go when you're really upset, Chanyeol never did that to you." 

"Stop comparing yourself to Chanyeol, Baek, you're not him. He has pushed me to that place before, more times than you have," Junmyeon takes a deep breath, "but Baekhyun, if you can bring out the best parts of me, you also have the power to bring out the worst parts of me." 

"I-I didn't think about it like that...I didn't know," Baekhyun wipes his nose on Junmyeon's old night shirt, "I'm sorry that I keep bringing things up." 

"No need to apologize, but please don't doubt me, my love," Junmyeon pets his hair back, presses the softest, most gentle kiss he could ever give, "Chanyeol means nothing to me anymore, he's seriously just a friend, an acquaintence, if you will. He hasn't meant anything to me since I met you." 

"Okay," Baekhyun breathes out of a shuddery, forced exhale, trying to stop the tears, "okay, sorry, I'm sorry. I love you so much, Junmyeon." 

Junmyeon's arms envelop him tightly, so tight that Baekhyun thinks he's going to burst. But he won't let go, _refuses_ to let go of Junmyeon because he wants him, needs him, _loves_ him. Junmyeon is everything he's ever needed and didn't know he needed and Baekhyun will never let him go, not for all the money in the world, not for the world, not for the _universe_. 

So they stay there and Baekhyun _feels_ it, deep in his bones, situated in his organs, pumping through his aching heart, swirling in his lungs, clinging to his brain. Baekhyun's entire being belongs to Junmyeon, from this moment on, Baekhyun will be open for him and only him. Through the long nights, through the hardest fights, through the roughest patches, through the sudden and unwelcomed changes, Baekhyun will be there with him. 

He'll devote all he has to Junmyeon, his soul, his mind, his body, his heart. 

_Junmyeon is worth everything._

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! :)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


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